So let's see, how did I get here? And by here, I mean on a blog of my very own. Today (September 25) marks one month since I moved to New York City (August 25) to being my big college adventure and I wanted to commemorate that in a special way. I tried to dream up some awesome Instagram post, but I found that a picture, despite being worth a thousand words, couldn't really get all of my feelings across. So then I considered a Facebook post, but I figured that people would be annoyed by this ginormous essay taking up their entire news feed and be super annoyed, so I decided to start a blog. My friend Crista started one before the summer ended and I've enjoyed keeping up with her that way, especially since we're so far apart (she goes to BYU-I). Plus, I figured that if people wanted to know how I was handling the big city, it would be easiest for them to catch up with me here. So here I am. Hello!
Today is my one month-iversary. A month ago today, I got in my Jeep, filled to the top with all of my junk, said goodbye to my house, the Ranch, and the rest of Fort Worth and drove to the airport where I got on a plane and, three hours later, arrived to New York to unload all of my stuff and move in to my dorm. All in the same day. Pretty crazy.
Which is how this whole month has been: crazy, but not just in a bad way, in a good way as well. This past month has been one of the most difficult of my life and I've faced trials I've never thought I would face, in life and in the classroom. I've felt lonely, insecure, lost, homesick, doubtful, and many other negative feelings. Before you get all super depressed, I promise this has a happy ending. There have been so many positive ones as well. I'm not sure how to put those happy feelings into simple adjectives, for some reason they're harder to explain than the negative ones, so I'll tell you about certain experiences and see if that helps.
The first week I got here I was a mess. There were several nights after I said goodbye to my mom (seriously the hardest thing I've ever had to do, I'm tearing up just thinking about it) that I just cried myself to sleep. I've never been good at being social, so making new friends in a very new and very big place was definitely not going to be my forte. My fourth or fifth day here, I was coming back from a walking tour from the High Line park in Chelsea and Alexa (my best friend since 4th Grade who is attending Barnard) texted me and said she was in the area. When we met up, it was the first time I had seen her since being in the city. We literally ran into each others arms and after everything that had been going on it felt amazing to have someone I knew so well in such close proximity. To know that I wasn't alone in this big ole city, that was something amazing. Now some of you might be thinking, "What about Hunter? He's there!" True, and I'm lucky to have my other best friend so close. I was just in serious need of a girlfriend.
Also my first week, I could not *wait* to go to church. When Sunday came along, I had never been more excited to get dressed up and go. I was seriously craving the Spirit. Not only that, but I have to take the Subway to get there. I'm not sure why, but walking / taking the train to church just makes me feel so accomplished. Anyways, it was Fast Sunday and even though I wasn't necessarily prompted / I had no idea what to say, I got up and bore my testimony. I was shaking like a leaf, but it felt so amazing to be in a place with people who I can relate to in a place so far from home. That's one of the reasons why I absolutely *love* my Church: no matter where you go in the world, there's (most likely) always a Church where the beliefs and the way things work are the exactly the same. Consistency. It just rocks.
For mine and Hunter's tenth month-iversary, we decided to do something special since it was our first one in NYC, so we went to the Central Park Zoo (we're children, I know). As many of you know, not too far from the Zoo in the park is the statue of Balto. Growing up, Balto was my hero. I would wake up every morning and watch as much as I could of that movie before my mom came in my room. We even had a stray at the ranch one summer that my parents (surprisingly) let me keep for a while. I named it Balto, even though it was a she. Anyways, I have this picture of me when I was a kid next to the Statue and I told Hunter that we had to go back so I could recreate the photo. Here's the product: 
Not gonna lie, I was slightly embarrassed because doing somethings after a certain age are just weird, like sticking out your tongue for the camera unless your Miley Cyrus, but afterwards I just felt super happy. I had come back to a place that had been super special to me as a kid and it was really neat to have those feelings come back.
Another great feeling came from when I actually wasn't in NY, but College Station, TX. Fallon, my "sister" from literally day one, called me two weeks ago with an offer I couldn't refuse: to join her at the Texas A&M vs. Alabama game. So I got a plane ticket, and after 6-7 hours of travel that Friday, I arrived to beloved CStat just 10 minutes before midnight yell. It was my first one, so I was super happy I made it in time. We even made national television the next day! 
Anyways, back to my happy feeling. For those of you who don't know, A&M holds a special place in my heart. I really love it there, so being there made me slightly nervous. I was afraid that I would be overwhelmed with regret for not attending the University. Not going to lie, there were moments during the intensity of the football game where I sort of felt that way (I love football, what can I say). Instead, I was surprised to find myself overcome with this sense of relief and comfort that I had made the right decision in going to NYU. I actually missed New York, I hadn't been ready to leave just yet. Don't get me wrong, A&M will always be special to me, but I know now for sure that it's not where I need to be at this time in my life.
So a month has passed and I've made some pretty awesome friends, but one of the things I absolutely love is that I find time to be alone. I live in a freshman dorm that's one of the farthest from "main campus" (I put the quotes because we don't really have a campus so to speak, there's just a main area around Washington Square Park where the majority of the buildings are located) which means I have a 10-20 minute walk to all of my classes. I'll be honest, some days I dread it and I know that it's going to be miserable when it gets super cold, but right now it's not so bad. I'm pretty good at getting around, actually. As soon as the day after I moved in, someone asked me for directions and I was able to help them out. It felt pretty good. But getting to class has become my happy time. I put in my headphones, turn up my music, and walk. I look up at the buildings to admire the architecture, I look at the people passing by to admire their outfits and wish I had that sort of style, I run to the crosswalk to make the lights. It's weird, but among all of these people I feel like I'm in my own little world. And I *love* it.
Today was pretty awesome too, which is odd because I had to get up for an 8 AM and usually those days aren't my favorite, but today was. (For those of you thinking that 8 AMs should be a piece of cake after four years of getting up for 5:45 AM Early Morning Seminary, you are horribly mistaken. College is a whole new ball game.) Nothing absolutely outstanding happened really, I had classes, I worked on homework, I ate a yummy lunch, I walked with Hunter to the Apple store only to watch him work his magic and receive yet another free product replacement (it's so not fair, they literally love him), and I went to Institute. Pretty normal day, but one of the happiest I've had since I've been here.
So that's my month. There will be more to come and I hope they will just get better and better. If you read this to the end, thank you! Sorry it was so long, but now you understand why I didn't just post it on Facebook. Next time, it won't be as long... I hope.
Love, Madi